Everyone makes list around this time on Oscar predictions. They list their favorites nominees, who the Academy will pick, who SHOULD win, blah, blah, blah. Well… screw that. I’m going totally against the grain and informing you, the rabid avid reader of this blog, that the Academy got it all whack.






Best Film: The Master
Another masterpiece by PT Anderson (Paul Thomas to you non-acquaintances or neophytes.) Sure the film falls into a bit of a muddle in the third act, but the haunting performances, exquisite cinematography (shot in 70mm but cropped to 1:1.85), and totally bashing of neo-religions (I would also bash old religions too) is what art is SUPPOSED to be. I hope he never wins an Oscar, so someday when he’s 82 they’ll give him a lifetime achievement award on stage the audience we’ll gasp in awe at the glorious shelf of movies he left behind.
Best Director: Ben Affleck for Argo
You may ask: how come Ben over PT? Because Ben “The Insurance Duck” Affleck, makes good old fashioned entertainment that has four quadrant appeal. So far his movies have had riveting plots and gripping action, unlike the oft vapid multiplex blow-em up offerings. As a director he’s 3 for 3 after being overlooked for some award winning performances (like doomed George “Superman” Reeves in “Hollywoodland”.) He may win for Best Picture this year, but if he and Damon could write another gem a la “Good Will Hunting” he could sweep the awards in the years to come.
Best Actor: Jean-Louis Trintignant in Amour
Why? Because HE’S F’NG JEAN-LOUIS TRINTIGNANT! The man has more classic films under his belt than a thief inside the Criterion Collection closet. “A Man and a Woman”, “The Easy Life”, “And God Created Woman”, “The Great Silence”, “My Night at Maud’s”, “The Conformist”, “Three Colors: Red”, “Is Paris Burning?”, “Les Liaisons Dangereuses”, and many other. Sure it would be one of those old-man-may-not-be-around-for-much-longer career awards… and well deserved.
[Editor's Note: If you never seen all or any of his films I forbid you from reading any further.]
Best Actress: Marion Cotillard in Rust and Bone
To tell you the truth, I haven’t sen this film yet, BUT… since Marion Cotillard plays a handi-capable person, and we have an unwritten rule that: “If you play someone in a wheel chair or with a mental situation, you win an Oscar” that more than makes her a viable candidate to take the golden idol home. N’est-ce pas?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have since screened the film and she's magnifique!]
Best Supporting Actor: Samuel L. Jackson & Leonardo DiCaprio in Django Unchained
Not to hate on Cristoph Waltz who’s a fine thespian and earned every inch of his “Inglorious Basterds” statuette, but his performance in Django was that of a co-lead rather than supporting. Sam & Leo actually steal the show. At first they may seem as an odd duo of actors to share screen time, but when they get their mojo going they lavish the audience with shiny pearls of diamond encrusted golden showmanship (wtf?.) Much like Waltz’ aforementioned Nazi performance, they are evil³. I’d long to see them working together again. Call me fellas’! I have a script for us.
Best Supporting Actress: Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman
Yeah, yeah, blow it out your crack pipe. Charlize Theron was the best thing in the movie and the fairest one of them all. Most importantly she was committed to the material unlike a certain vampire loving starlet who should go stewartless. CT’s portrayal of Ravenna was as wicked as wicked witchy queens come (and trust me I’ve known plenty.)
So thems my Oscar pics which as press time seemed like a very long shot since none of these people were on the ballot. I won’t totally flake out though and give you who I think the academy will honor tomorrow: Best Picture: Lincoln, Best Director: Spielberg, Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis, Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence, Best Supporting Actor: Robert DeNiro, Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway.
Enjoy the show!